The Man

The Shakespearean League

Mr. Peabody: "Welcome again to another episode of Mr. Peabody and Sherman, with our very special guest - Mark II. Sherman, set the WAY BACK MACHINE to the year 1600 A.D."

Way Back Machine: "WWWWHHHHIIIIZZZZ, WWWWHHHHIIIIRRRRLLLL, ZZZZAAAAPPPP, ZZZZOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK!!"

Mr. Peabody: "Folks, we are here in Stratford-upon-Avon at the home of William Shakespeare."

Mark II: "Thanks, Mr. Peabody. Everyone knows the Shakespeare was perhaps the greatest playwright in history. But he was also an avid football fan, league organizer and chronicler."

Sherman: "Wow, Mark II, a football fan and league organizer?"

Mark II: "Quite, Sherman. In the cupboard of this house I've discovered a set of heretofore unknown manuscripts which comprise a complete set of Shakespeare's works as they were originally intended. I call them the Lost Drafts, and they document play in the Shakespearean League."

Mr. Peabody: "Intriguing, Mark II, please go on."

Mark II: "The Shakespearean League was divided into three divisions: the Comedies, the Tragedies and the Histories. The Comedies Division featured a great coach from the European mainland - Schembechler the Bohemian, or as he came to be known, Bo Schembechler."

Mr. Peabody: "You mean the ancestor of the great Michigan coach Glenn 'Bo' Schembechler?"

Mark II: "Indeed, Mr. Peabody. In fact, Glenn adopted the nickname 'Bo' in honor of his Bohemian ancestor. Schembechler had a great deal of success in the Comedies Division, but for poorly understood reasons he was never able to win a title. Every year he would assemble some of the finest talent in England. His teams' fans would confidently predict victory, as documented in Shakespeare's A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. But every year one or two losses, described in the COMEDY OF ERRORS, prevented Schembechler from achieving the title. Many of the losses were to the still powerful Buck-Eyes, led first by the coaching genius Lord Woodrow of Hayes, and later by Earle the Bruce, descendant of the Scottish King Robert the Bruce. He would also suffer an occasional loss to Sir Hayden of Fry. His legacy to the game was chronicled in MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING."

Bo Provided the Comedy and Moellero the Tragedy

Sherman: "Tell us about play in the Tragedies Division, Mark II."

Mark II: "Glad to, Sherman. Play in the Tragedies Division was documented in a draft of one of Shakespeare's best loved plays: OTHELLO, THE MOOR OF VENICE. The Lost Draft of this play was entitled MOELLERO, THE POOR AND SENSELESS, and detailed the tragedy of the well known coach Moellero."

Mr. Peabody: "The ancestor of the Michigan coach Gary Moeller, I gather."

Mark II: "Correct, Mr. Peabody. As documented in THE WINTER'S TALE, Moellero suffered through several seasons of three and four loss mediocrity. A team assembled by Robert, Duke of Bowden inflicted a particularly painful loss. He became increasingly despondent and one day flew into an ugly drunken rage, as chronicled in THE TEMPEST. In the depths of his tumult he uttered the following diatribe, which later formed the basis of the famous soliloquy in HAMLET, PRINCE OF DENMARK:

Sobriety or debauchery: that is the question:
Whether 'tis easier in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against the eyes of buck and hawk,
And by opposing defeat them? To drink: to sleep;
Some more; and by a drink to say we numb
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd ...

Debauchery was the choice of course, and the rest in well known history. Moellero's coaching career ended ignominiously, his life in tatters."

Moellero's Outburst Was Tempestuous

Sherman: "That's sad. So, Mark II, did Michigan win ANY titles in the Shakespearean League?"

Mark II: "Yes, Sherman, in the Histories Division, which, I might add, is quite appropriate. We all have read Shakespeare's THE FAMOUS HISTORY OF THE LIFE OF KING HENRY THE EIGHT, right? The Lost Draft of this play was entitled THE FAMOUS HISTORY OF THE LIFE OF COACH HARRY THE FIRST. This draft documented the career of the great coach Harry of Kipke-upon-Thames."

Mr. Peabody: "Of the family of Harry Kipke, Michigan's title winning coach of the 1930s?"

Mark II: "The same, Mr. Peabody. Coach Harry I's teams played during very depressed economic times in England, when not much attention was paid to football. He thrived in this anonymity, however, and accumulated 20 titles."

Mr. Peabody: "Mark II, it seems that on the whole Michigan's performance in the Shakespearean League could be described as LOVE'S LABOR'S LOST."

Mark II: "AS YOU LIKE IT, Mr. Peabody, but Coach Harry I met his competition MEASURE FOR MEASURE and did indeed contribute to the Michigan dynasty."

Sherman: "ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL."