Russian League Play Had a Unique Flavor

The Russian League

Mr. Peabody: "Welcome again to another episode of Mr. Peabody and Sherman, with our very special guest - Mark II. Sherman, set the WAY BACK MACHINE to the year 1760 A.D."

Way Back Machine: "WWWWHHHHIIIIZZZZ, WWWWHHHHIIIIRRRRLLLL, ZZZZAAAAPPPP, ZZZZOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK!!"

Mr. Peabody: "Folks, we are in St. Petersburg, site of play in the Russian League."

Mark II: "Thanks Mr. Peabody. As I'm sure everyone knows, Russia in the eighteenth century was ruled by the czars. Peter the Great opened up Russia to foreign ideas and influence in the early decades, helping transform the country from a closed, backward society to a modern European state. Great European football teams flocked to St. Petersburg during this period of enlightenment. This openness was continued during the reign of Catherine the Great for the remainder of the eighteenth century."

Sherman: "Gee, Mark II, that's interesting. Tell us about play in the Russian League."

Mark II: "Sherman, Russian League play was unique in world football history. We all know that CHESS - 'The Game of Kings' - has been the Russian national pastime for centuries and that Russian players have dominated championship chess to this very day. Predictably, Russian League football took on the flavor of a chess game. In fact, the game was played with sixteen players on each side, as shown below.

Chess Pieces: Back Row (left to right) - Rook, Knight, Bishop, King, Queen, Bishop, Knight, Rook; Front Row - Pawns. Russian League Offense: Back Row (left to right) - Split End, Tight End, Running Back, Coach, Quarterback, Running Back, Tight End, Split End; Front Row - Linemen. Russian League Defense: Back Row (left to right) - Safety, Cornerback, Linebacker, Coach, Monster Back, Linebacker, Cornerback, Safety; Front Row - Linemen.

Opposing coaches were positioned in the end zones. The first team to move downfield and checkmate the opposing coach was declared the winner. Fallen or captured players were removed from the field. For this reason many games were decided with only a few players on the field. If neither coach could be checkmated the game was declared a draw."

Mr. Peabody: "That's fascinating, Mark II. How did chess effect play calling?"

Mark II: "Mr. Peabody, Russian League play evidenced many of the classic chess strategies, including the following:

(1) The Openings - in chess well defined series of moves commencing play in the game; in Russian League football offensive and defensive formations;

(2) The Pin - in chess immobilizing a piece which is protecting a more valuable piece; in Russian League football the pancake block;

(3) The Skewer - in chess chasing away a piece and capturing another piece behind it; in Russian League football the sack;

(4) The Fork - in chess simultaneously attacking two pieces; in Russian League football simultaneously clotheslining two receivers;

(5) Castling - in chess spiriting the king away to maximum safety; in Russian League football the goal line defense."

Sherman: "Russian League football really sounds like a thinking man's game, Mark II. So who were the major competitors?"

Mark II: "Sherman, there were many competitive teams in the Russian League. Catherine the Great fielded a team named in her honor - the Cats. The Cats were rather mild for many years but later flourished under the direction of the famous cleric and quarterback Bishop Michael . The Black Knights had been a factor in world football since the Arthurian League and continued to be so under English running back and physician Dr. Blanchard.. Meanwhile, King Erekle II of Georgia fielded a talented team as well, winning a title in the early years under his son Prince Dooleyevski. But Michigan's greatest challenge came from a team with a long history of football and chess excellence - the Irish."

Mr. Peabody: "I didn't know the Irish were chess players, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Indeed they were, Mr. Peabody. The Irish had been skillful football and chess players for centuries, commencing with the legendary coach Knute Rookne and continuing with the immortal Billy Bob Fischer. Fischer was an odd genius, however, and eventually succumbed to his eccentricities. He became a complete recluse and disappeared from the Russian League scene altogether. Leadership of the Irish was then left to another brilliant grandmaster - Dave Casperov."

Sherman: "Irish coach Knute Rockne, Bill Fischer, the All-American tackle of the 1940s, and Dave Casper, the great tight end of the 1970s, had brilliant ancestors, Mark II. Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov might even be proud."

Mark II: "Indeed, Sherman, and none was more brilliant than Casperov. He dazzled the Russian League with combinations of pins, skewers and forks never seen before."

A Russian League Training Exercise
White to Move - Mate in Three
Click on the button below for the solution
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Mr. Peabody: "How was Michigan able to overcome the great Casperov, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Mr. Peabody, Michigan was led by the great Bavarian coach Helmut von Crisler. He had piercing blue eyes which matched Michigan's uniforms and become known around the league as Deep Blue."

Sherman: "Aahhhh .. the ancestor of Michigan coach Fritz Crisler, who designed Michigan's helmets, by the way."

Mark II: "Yes, Sherman, and Deep Blue was a mathematical genius, having an uncanny, almost machine-like command of football skill. Among his many other talents he could:

(1) Analyze the merits of over one billion plays per second;

(2) Calculate the probability of a play's success to one hundred billionth of a percent;

(3) Project a forced checkmate to 57 plays.

Given these talents, it was obvious that Deep Blue posed a grave threat the Casperov's reign in the Russian League."

The Scotch Opening - One of Casperov's Favorites

Mr. Peabody: "Tell us what happened when the teams finally met, Mark II."

Mark II: "Mr. Peabody, it was a titanic affair. The teams met in a six game match. The first five game were inconclusive - each team won one game and three were draws. In the sixth and deciding game both teams came out firing. Many casualties ensued and midway thorough the third quarter only about half the players remained. Then Deep Blue called a strategic timeout, when he and his seconds spent nearly half an hour analyzing the possibilities."

Sherman: "I can feel the tension, Mark II."

Mark II: "Indeed, Sherman. And when Deep Blue returned to the field he stunned the Irish and all observers by announcing a FORCED CHECKMATE IN 32 PLAYS!! Pandemonium erupted and the officials were immediately called in to verify the unusual claim. When the forced mate was confirmed the shattered Casperov had no choice but to resign. This marked the first time in world football history that a game was concluded in the third quarter."

Mr. Peabody: "What a brilliancy, Mark II!"

Mark II: "Indeed it was, Mr. Peabody. And Deep Blue went on to lead Michigan to 30 titles in the Russian League."

Sherman: "The king is dead, long live the king."