Parisian League Fans Tailgating

The Parisian League

Mr. Peabody: "Welcome again to another episode of Mr. Peabody and Sherman, with our very special guest - Mark II. Sherman, set the WAY BACK MACHINE to the year 1500 A.D."

Way Back Machine: "WWWWHHHHIIIIZZZZ, WWWWHHHHIIIIRRRRLLLL, ZZZZAAAAPPPP, ZZZZOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK!!"

Mr. Peabody: "Folks, we are here in Paris in the sixteenth century, late in the Middle Ages, in an alchemist's laboratory. Mark II, who are we visiting?"

Mark II: "Thanks, Mr. Peabody. We're visiting the great physician, alchemist, seer and football coach Yostradamus, descendent of Yostiseous and ancestor of Michigan coach Fielding Yost."

Mr. Peabody: "I've heard of Nostradamus, but Yostradamus?"

Mark II: "Yostradamus was Nostradamus' great pupil, particularly brilliant in football alchemy and prophesying events in the Parisian League. Yostradamus' prophesies are contained in his quatrains (four line poems)."

Sherman: "Gee, Mark II, the Middle Ages sound like an interesting time in football history."

Mark II: "Indeed, Sherman. Prior to Yostradamus, the Middle Ages had been torn by competing forces of the dark. For example, everyone has heard of the Black Death, or bubonic plague. But a far more horrible plague gripped the Parisian League. This plague was so bloody and so relentless that it became known as the Crimson Tide. The plague was thought to have originated in a rabid Bear."

Mr. Peabody: "Very intriguing, Mark II. Who were the other 'dark' forces?"

Mark II: "Well, Mr. Peabody, a band of Norsemen swept down from Scandinavia and became a factor in the league. They wore the ancestral Viking helmets with large protruding bone horns and became known as the Long-Horns. The Long-Horns' coach, Dar-Ryl, was adopted by the Norse king in recognition of his achievements, and became known as Dar-Ryl the Royal."

Sherman: "So helmets were allowed is this period?"

Mark II: "Headgear was indeed optional, Sherman, contrary to popular opinion."

Mr. Peabody: "Fascinating, Mark II, go on."

Mark II: "Thanks Mr. Peabody. The Middle Ages were also a time of religious despotism. Everyone knows of the Spanish Inquisition, right? Well, there was an even more heinous institution of oppression - the Irish Inquisition. The Irish Inquisition was lead by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (War, Famine, Pestilence and Death). The Irish Inquisition overwhelmed even the Crimson Tide and came to dominate the Parisian League. They might have gone undefeated for the whole fifteenth century if not for the inconsistent play of Death, who was bothered by a nagging groin injury suffered in a game with the Long-Horns."

Bust of Death Wearing the Rare Green Irish Uniform

Mr. Peabody: "How was Yostradamus able to overcome these evil forces?"

Mark II: "Yostradamus' quatrains foretell the reign of his team for 100 years, leading to a great Renaissance. Moreover, his quatrains detail the mechanism for achieving this result. His idea was to create an impenetrable force which no foe could conquer. He drew upon the hygiene practices of the time."

Sherman: "Hygiene, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Indeed, Sherman. Yostradamus, the brilliant alchemist that he was, concocted a formula consisting of eleven secret herbs and spices, I believe. Eye of newt, breath of frog, wart of worm, apple of horse and others ... a touch of oregano ... voila!. The resulting potion was smeared over the bodies of his players. This, coupled with the custom of the time of bathing once every six months or so, produced an impenetrable and overpowering STENCH. A STENCH so powerful that no plague, no marauder from the north, no horseman could resist it."

The Long-Horns' Mascot Takes a Whiff of the Stench

Sherman: "PEEEE UUUUUU!!"

Mr. Peabody: "WAAAAA ... HAAAAA ... HAAAAA!!"

Mark II: "Indeed, War and Death ran like sissies from Yostradamus' attack. And soYostradamus' prophesies were fulfilled."

Mr. Peabody: "So, another 100 titles in the Middle Ages, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Right, Mr. Peabody. And now on to the Renaissance."