Michigan's Performance Was Indeed Awesome

The Athenian League

Mr. Peabody: "Welcome again to another episode of Mr. Peabody and Sherman, with our very special guest - Mark II. Sherman, set the WAY BACK MACHINE to the year 1,200 B.C."

Way Back Machine: "WWWWHHHHIIIIZZZZ, WWWWHHHHIIIIRRRRLLLL, ZZZZAAAAPPPP, ZZZZOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK!!"

Mr. Peabody: "Folks, we are here in ancient Greece at the Temple of Hermes, messenger of the gods and patron and protector of athletic competition."

Mark II: "Thanks Mr. Peabody. In the ruins of this temple I've discovered a treasure of Greek football history - previously unknown verses from Homer's Odyssey which chronicle play in the Athenian League. I call them the Lost Verses."

Mr. Peabody: "Wow, Mark II, new verses from Homer? The Athenian League? Hard to believe."

Mark II: "Yes, Mr. Peabody, but very true. The Lost Verses document the reign of a legendary coach in the Athenian League by the name of Yostiseous."

Sherman: "You mean the ancestor of Michigan's great coach Fielding Yost?"

Coach Yostiseous With a Championship Cup

Mark II: "Indeed, Sherman. And the Lost Verses document the fact that Yostiseous actually invented the forward pass. In fact, football in the Athenian League consisted entirely of passing. No kicking or rushing was recognized. Initially a discus was used for the football. The league was soon racked by injuries, however, and the discus was replaced by a ball of sun-baked goat dung - much softer."

Sherman: "Mark II, who passed for all this yardage?"

Mark II: "Well, Sherman, Yostiseous's quarterbacks were Grbacles and Grieseous and their lineage, but no one passed for much yardage, with the discus being too sharp and heavy and the goat dung being too smelly. Games were generally decided by very low scores, say 6-0. To this day passing has never been one of our strengths."

Grbacles (left) With a Goat Dung Ball

Mr. Peabody: "Mark II, tell us about the famous Spartans vs. Trojans game?"

Mark II: "Mr. Peabody, this was actually a very small footnote to Yostiseous's dominance in the Athenian League. Everyone knows that the Spartans crushed the Trojans by utilizing the famous Trojan Horse Play. This play was actually invented by Yostiseous in preparation for a game with the Spartans themselves. A crafty Raven crept into Yostiseous's camp, however, and STOLE the play. This bird sold the play to the Spartans for a jug of worms and a bottle of Tabasco sauce. The rest is well known history. The Spartans won the title that year but were never heard from again."

Sherman: "Mark II, you ARE quite the historian. So how many titles did Michigan rack up in the Athenian League?"

Mark II: "Another 400, Sherman. So combining the Cro-Magnon, Egyptian and Athenian league results we can now add an additional 5,800 RETROACTIVE MICHIGAN TITLES."

Sherman: "Wow, Mark II, this is GREAT! Where are we off to next?"

Mark II: "Rome, where for the first time the three elements of football - kicking, rushing and passing - were combined to create a true spectator sport."

Mr. Peabody: "Stay tuned sports fans ..."