Legendary Football Was Played Here

The Arthurian League

Mr. Peabody: "Welcome again to another episode of Mr. Peabody and Sherman, with our very special guest - Mark II. Sherman, set the WAY BACK MACHINE to the year 600 A.D."

Way Back Machine: "WWWWHHHHIIIIZZZZ, WWWWHHHHIIIIRRRRLLLL, ZZZZAAAAPPPP, ZZZZOOOOIIIINNNNKKKK!!"

Mr. Peabody: "Folks, we are here in Camelot at the Court of King Arthur, legendary king of the Britons."

Mark II: "Thanks. Mr. Peabody. I've discovered a rare medieval text written by a distant ancestor of mine which chronicles play in the Arthurian League: 'A Learned and True Assertion of the Original Life, Acts and Death of the Most Noble, Valiant, and Renowned Prince Arthure, King of Great Britain - Collected and Written of Late Years in Latin by the Learned English Antiquary of Worthy Memory Mark I.'"

Sherman: "That's an impressive title, Mark II. So, how was football played in the Arthurian League? Tell us about the great knights of the Round Table like Sir Lancelot and Sir Galahad."

Mark II: "Sherman, after the fall of the Roman Empire the use of chariots was abandoned in favor of mounted steeds. Football in Arthur's day was sort of like organized jousting with a passing game. Surprisingly, the best known knights contributed very little to Arthurian football. Sir Lancelot, although quite a mighty hero, was a poor football player. Around the Round Table he was known as 'Sir Puntsalot.' Sir Galahad was preoccupied with the quest for the Holy Grail and had not much time for football."

Mr. Peabody: "So who were the heroes of the Arthurian League, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Mr. Peabody, Michigan's fortunes in the Arthurian League rested upon the great football knight Sir Charles of the Woods."

Sherman: "Sir Charles of the Woods? Any relation to Charles Woodson, Michigan's great cornerback?"

Mark II: "Indeed Sherman, and his story is a fascinating one. At Arthur's Round Table a seat was reserved for a knight who would lead Arthur to football glory - the Siege Glorious. Only the one true football knight could occupy the seat; disastrous consequences would befall any other who dared try. Legend has it that Arthur and his knights were traveling in the forests of Avalon when they came upon a mysterious knight of Moorish ancestry who spoke in an incomprehensible dialect. Arthur's knights rashly attacked this mysterious stranger. Lo, the stranger defended himself with the strength and agility of a hundred men. So impressed was Arthur that he invited the stranger to his court at Camelot. Upon returning to the Round Table the name 'Charles' mystically appeared on the Siege Glorious. The stranger occupied the seat without incident, and Arthur knew at once that his one true football knight had arrived. So the stranger became known as 'Sir Charles of the Woods.'"

The Siege Glorious

Mr. Peabody: "Sir Charles sounds like a great champion, Mark II. Tell us about his play."

Mark II: "Glad to, Mr. Peabody. The Arthurian League proved to be quite a battleground. The Lady of the Lake assembled a team of Scarlet Knights who played Arthur and Sir Charles in the very first league game. The Scarlet Knights proved no match for Sir Charles, though. Michigan won easily and the Lady of the Lake delivered to Arthur the sword Excalibur as an act of fealty. The loss of Excalibur so demoralized the Scarlet Knights that they went into a fifty years' rut and were never again a factor in the league. Meanwhile, Mordred, Arthur's illegitimate son and nemesis, fielded an army of Black Knights who were quite successful in the early days, capturing several titles. Recruiting difficulties eventually led to their mediocrity, however. But still other dangers were afoot. Herein the tale of Sir Charles and the Quest for the Holy Ale."

She Lost Excalibur in a Football Game

Sherman: "Quest for the Holy Ale? I don't get it, Mark II."

Mark II: "The Holy Ale was a prize presented to the Arthurian League's most valuable player. The prize was awarded by The Nine Worthies, a supposedly impartial panel of judges. The Holy Ale, brewed by the Canterbury monks, was a beer so tasty it was thought to have been divinely inspired. Indeed, the recipe was certified as a miracle by St. Budweiser in the fifth century."

Mr. Peabody: "I've tried some while you've been narrating, Mark II. It is delicious."

Mark II: "Anyway, Sir Charles had one principal rival for the Holy Ale - Peyton, a traveller from the Isle of Man. 'Peyton of Man,' as he came to be known, traversed western England to challenge Arthur's football supremacy. He was a man of modest means and could not pay his players. Nevertheless he assembled a fine team of volunteers, eager for football glory at Camelot. Upon reaching Camelot he quickly astounded all observers with his prolific passing."

Peyton of Man Was the Frontrunner for the Holy Ale

Sherman: "So who won the Holy Ale, Mark II? Sir Charles or Peyton of Man?"

Mark II: "Sherman, it is a complicated story and one full of political intrigue. Peyton of Man's play was so astounding that most observers considered him the frontrunner for the Holy Ale. However, play in the Arthurian League was reported to non-local fans by an organized group of bards - the Arthurian Bards Collective ('ABC'). With Peyton of Man being the overwhelming favorite for the Holy Ale the bards sensed waning fan interest in the sport. Fearful for their livelihoods, they decided to promote Sir Charles as a rival candidate to heighten the suspense. Eventually they went so far as to bribe Merlin the magician, Arthur's confidant and advisor, to cast a spell on the Nine Worthies compelling them to award the prize to Sir Charles. Merlin, a devout Michigan fan, was only too happy to comply. So Sir Charles indeed won the Holy Ale."

Mr. Peabody: "And what became of King Arthur, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Mr. Peabody, Arthur was mortally wounded by Mordred in a game against the Black Knights. On his dying bed he bequeathed his sword Excalibur to Sir Charles. A crafty Raven stole the sword, however, and returned it to the lake from whence it came."

Sherman: "Arthur's legend, and Michigan's football glory, will live forever."

Mark II: "Indeed, Sherman - 'the once and future king.'"

Mr. Peabody: "So how many RETROACTIVE MICHIGAN TITLES were achieved in Camelot, Mark II?"

Mark II: "Another 50, Mr. Peabody. Now on to Jerusalem."